I know, I'm a looker. Plus I'm smart, good with children, and quite athletic. Need I mention housebroken? Yes, I'm all that and so much more.
Mommy (aka Dawn) has been sharing all about her writing life here at "Plotting and Scheming," so I thought I'd take a swing at telling you about my life as a writer's dog. Today's post:
"Plodding and Sleeping."
"Plodding" because Dawn's my running partner (one of us is dead weight, but I'm a gentleman and I won't tell you who...bark/cough: not I) and "sleeping" because it's one of my favorite activities.
Good thing Daddy (Jim the computer guru) wired up a dogputer for me since I have no opposable thumbs and have trouble with things like typing and origami. This is through no fault of my own, of course; nature can be cruel. I'm hoping Jim will sell the technology to Microsoft so he can stop selling--oh, my. I guess I can tell you, Dawn's bloggy friends. Just keep it between you, me, and the nearest fire hydrant. When we go on runs or walks and I "do my business," they put it in a plastic bag and bring it home. Horrible, isn't it? My theory: they must be selling it to pay for groceries. I know. So very sad.
Speaking of unfortunate things: each day, I must guard my home and family from the evil squirrels that lurk in the trees, in the bushes, up and down the streets . . . they're EVERYWHERE, I tell you! Even in my nightmares. The worst of them: CHESTER.
Chester eats at least half the bird seed in the feeder. One day last winter, Jim and Dawn didn't notice the bird feeder was empty and Chester came to the back door and knocked on the glass. True. Story.
Yet Dawn thinks Chester is cute. How will she ever get published with such a soft mind?
Dawn and I write in the den. I lie really still in my dog bed, concentrating so hard the untrained eye might mistake what I'm doing as sleeping. But Dawn knows. I'm creating an atmosphere that allows her to work.
Unfortunately, my sister Pepper often joins us. It's fine if she sits still, but she's a bit of a troublemaker. She likes to bark, and she sometimes chews my face. Here's her picture.
I love her, but she's a few kibble pieces short of a full bag. She likes walks, but can't go on runs. Why not, you ask? If she runs on a leash, she thinks something scary is chasing her. Again, true story. Even though we're littermates, I moved in with the family two years after Pepper did. She was normal as a puppy, so I wonder if something traumatic happened before I got here. My guess: the squirrels got to her. Either that or she breathed in too much catnip at PetSmart.
It's summer now, which means Kid #1 and Kid #2 are around more often to scratch and cuddle me. Dawn doesn't always notice when I need an ear rub, but the kids are on top of things like that. The kids are my best friends. They're way more fun than Jim and Dawn.
I better end this post so I can get an e-mail out to Obama. The dogputer seems to be coming apart and I just thought of a health care solution that will make everyone happy. And world peace! I think I know how we can achieve--